I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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