Nicole vs. Life
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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