He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
