How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
