Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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