No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Panties = found
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
