idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
