He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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