Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
