Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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