More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
