I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
