it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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