I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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