With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
wow bdsm is so cute
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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