It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He did a backflip because drugs
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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