How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
