i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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