i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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