oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
