He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
