i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm at about main and main street
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
