Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
