So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
