my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
