My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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