And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
