Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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