I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
In America we eat man semen.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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