The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up under a house in Key West
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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