THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The air was thick with penises
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
