Screwed.edu
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
