We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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