I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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