i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
