i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think my mom watched the whole time
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
