my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
