have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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