I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
