dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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