i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
