i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
