When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
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