I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
