hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
