I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
