you win again, gameday.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
