Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
