i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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