Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
