That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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