hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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