Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
