when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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