I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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