I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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