Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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