guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
