u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
