do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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