I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
