after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
